February 11, 2026
The Importance of Friendship
I’m sure most of us acknowledge that friendship is important. Your friend circle doesn’t need to be large (unless it happens to be!), but I think it’s vital to have at least a few close friends (or even just one). This can be tricky for those of us who are the shy type, but even so, seeking out friends is important for many reasons. Trust me, I’m a shy person and even I’m saying this!
For people who have just become moms (and dads too), friendship changes drastically. Gone are the days when you saw your friends every single day at school, had sleepovers on the weekends, and hung out over the summer. Now, as an adult with children, seeing your friends likely happens less often. Even if you live close by your friends, most of your days are busy with the demands of motherhood, and so more effort has to be put into maintaining those friendships.
Losing Bonds Over Time
And this is where I find many moms have lost connection. You’ve likely seen this shift in other people, or experienced it yourself. You become a mom, and you see your friends maybe once a week. The years go on, and you see your friends once a month. And then at some point, slowly but surely, you all are seeing each other only a couple times a year. Maybe once every couple years. Maybe you really only chat on social media these days. Of course, this doesn’t happen to all parents, but it happens to many. Parenting takes over and friendships suffer. Of course, being occupied by being a good parent isn’t a bad thing. But friendship is a beautiful thing, and it shouldn’t have to die in place of parenting.
Oftentimes, in American culture, I think we have this unspoken belief that if you hang out with your friends too much as an adult, then that must mean you’re not taking your responsibilities as an adult seriously enough. We are shamed into believing that taking a break from “mom-ing” is bad and irresponsible, that moms have to be at home cooking and cleaning 24/7. That if she goes and has a drink with her pals at a restaurant, she’s immature.
The Value of Friendships in Motherhood
Variety, as much as connections, matter in terms of creating a healthy life. A healthy, less-stressed mother is one who maintains friendships throughout her time as an active mother.
Friendships are valuable for a multitude of reasons, such as:
- Allowing you to have social time, whether that be going out to dinner, to a concert, to the grocery store together, reading at a coffee shop, going on a hike, or any other hangout you can think of. This allows you to gain the social interaction that all humans need (even introverts). Remember, almost any activity that can be done solo can be done with someone else. Something like shopping for groceries together may sound silly, but it’s actually very budget-friendly (because you were prepared to spend money anyway, so you’re technically not spending extra). It’s a great opportunity to chat and doesn’t involve going to an expensive dinner.
- Fighting off the possibility of feeling isolated, which can be harmful to your mental, emotional, and even physical health.
- Creating space to conversate, whether about daily circumstances or difficult times. Communication is vital in all areas of life, such as with your partner, your children, your manager, and your kids too.
- Creating a safety net. When you have friends, you have people around you who can support and help you through life (and you can help them through theirs).
- Creating community. While it’s also good to speak with those who have opposing ideas, it’s hugely beneficial to stick with those you do agree with for the sake of creating and maintaining community. This could look like a monthly book club for book nerds, church every Sunday, a gardening club, or any other group focused on a core idea or belief.
- Helping with the kids! Having others moms as friends is amazing for creating a community of child support (which benefits not only you but the kids involved, who are able to have social interaction with other kids).
No More Social Time… In My 20’s?
Maintaining friendships can be an especially tricky topic for younger moms (like moms under 30) to navigate. If you gave birth within the past few years and you’re still in your early twenties or even late teens, you may feel that you very harshly transitioned from a life of hanging out with friends and having free weekends to suddenly being catapulted into motherhood. Moms who become moms a little later in life may be more accustomed to not seeing their friends as much as they used to. They’ve perhaps been on the 9-5 grind for years and so have come to terms with not seeing their buddies every weekend.
But for a mom in her twenties, the idea of not going out whenever she wants to may be a tough pill to swallow. But I encourage the young moms reading this blog: try your very best not to let those friendships wither away! Going out and having fun and enjoying your youth isn’t wrong, provided that your kids are under proper care while you are away. Alongside your responsibilities as a mom (and as a partner, if applicable), try to prioritize your connections in any possible way. This maintenance can look like whatever you want it to be, such as shopping for groceries together weekly, searching for books at a library twice a month, going to a farmer’s market together, or anything you can think of.
Navigating Friendships & The Importance of Predicability
Two questions may arise when it comes to maintaining friendships for young moms: 1) How do I navigate maintaining a friendship if some of my closest friends are also moms, and 2) How do I navigate friendships with friends that aren’t mothers?
One one hand, creating time and space to spend with a friend who also happens to be a busy young mom might seem next to impossible. Her schedule is just as packed as yours, after all, maybe even more so than yours if she has more children than you or works more hours than you. You may feel like you’re pestering her by suggesting hanging out, like you’re further filling up her already jammed schedule. You don’t want to offend her or stress her out, but you don’t want to lose connection.
My best advice is to find a moment to talk with this friend in whatever way you can, whether that be in person, over the phone, or just through text if that’s the best you can do. Explain maybe some of the bullet points above, about why you feel like it’s vital that you two stay glued together and not let the stressors of parenthood pull you apart. The best hope is that she will agree and see your side.
From that point forward, create a schedule. While putting your friendship on a strict schedule might sound odd, it’s actually helpful for not forgetting your dedication to each other. If you say something like, “We’ll hang whenever we find the time,” believe me, you two will barely hang out! So it can be helpful to confine yourself to a predictable hang-out schedule. This predictableness helps keep you two together as well as creating a predictable schedule for the kids (and kids need predictable lives). For instance, if you’ve determined to see each other the second Sunday of every month, you already know to nail down childcare for each second Sunday; it won’t come as a surprise.
For friends who aren’t mothers, hanging with them can be a wild card. On one hand, although they don’t share the same experiences as you, they may fully understand that you don’t have the free time you used to, and they won’t make you feel guilty about not seeing them as much as you previously did. These friends may also be quite busy with work, and so they at least understand what it’s like to have a full schedule, even if they aren’t moms. For other friends, you may need to sit them down and explain why you haven’t been showing up to any of the outings they’ve planned in your group chat. As with the above advice, you may need to explain your need for a more predictable schedule of outings (rather than spur-of-the-moments hangouts that many 20-somethings are known for), then explain how often you’ll be able to spend time with them. For instance, they may be able to hang out once a week whereas you only feel available every other week. If they love you as a friend, they will understand.
Friendship is a Worthwhile Connection
Sometimes, as a busy mom, forcing yourself to make time for friends seems unnecessarily stressful and extraneous to your new life. But despite the effort it takes, try to have forward vision. Picture yourself a decade from now, and how sad you may feel if you’ve lost connection with good friends. Be determined to not let that happen, and call on the support of your friends to help you in that endeavor.
Here’s an idea to get you started: with Valentine’s Day landing on a weekend, there couldn’t be a better time to schedule an outing with your girl friends and take a breather from the kids!
Author Bio
Krista Ruffo, born and raised in Orlando, Florida, began blogging with South Project in February of 2025. She’s a University of Central Florida graduate with a BA in English and a Certificate in Editing and Publishing. A passionate writer and reader, Krista aspires to work in book publishing in the future. She currently works as a Content Coordinator for a family magazine and as a Marketing Representative for a water company. In her free time, she enjoys creative writing, taking photos, hiking, and gardening.