Have you ever wondered what in the world your baby is trying to tell you? After all, just because you held that very same child in your body for many months doesn’t mean that you’ll understand exactly what certain baby behaviors mean. Communication is key, and since babies are not yet capable of speaking, it can be confusing understanding what they’re thinking and feeling. You can’t mind-read anyone, including them.
And you may often wonder if your child really loves you. Doubts like those can arise even in the most confident of mothers. But learning how to interpret baby feedback will help grow the love and trust between the both of you and will assist in healthy growth and development.
While this post will be more oriented towards mothers and will use language to match that theme, you are welcome to read this post if you are a caregiver of the baby, even if you aren’t the one who birthed them. A baby may show some or all of these signs even to those who aren’t their primary caretaker.
With that being said, in this post I’ll be discussing five signs that your baby is trying to bond with you. Of course, five signs aren’t all there is, so these posts will have to be split. For this post, “baby” will be defined as a child who is newborn (o months) to infant (1 year).
- It’s All in the Eyes
Making eye contact, following you with their eyes, or playing eye games (like looking at you and then immediately looking away) are perhaps some of the first signs your baby is trying to form a bond with you. Also, a baby is trying to link the sounds and smells (as in, the scent of their caregiver or their mother’s breastmilk) they perceive with something they can see (a.k.a., you) (Francis and Dolgoff 2024). Maybe they watch you as you do laundry or cook. Perhaps you catch them staring at you in your peripheral vision; you look at them and they look away. Or they sit and stare at you, not only learning to recognize your face but also, in a way, learning to love you. They’re studying you to memorize what “comfort, trust, and love look like” (Francis and Dolgoff 2024). So if you have a newborn on hand, make sure to observe their eye movements!
- Mimicry & Engagement
Along the lines of sight, babies quickly learn to recognize your emotions by your facial expressions—and, of course—by how you respond to their goofy antics. Like with the eye games, your baby might smile or wiggle around, and they count on you to react back, to make silly faces, smile, wave your hands, or generally act theatric. They begin practicing mimicry because, as you already know, we learn how to act by seeing others act first. If your baby is mimicking “your facial expressions, gestures, or movements, it is a sign that [they’re] … trying to communicate … and connect with you” (Thomas 2023).
While acting exaggerated might not be your thing, being a caretaker of a baby gives you permission to let loose and make wild faces that you otherwise might never make. So blow a raspberry and smile. As silly as it feels, it does strengthen the bond; it cements their attachment “just as much as your responses to their physical needs” do (Francis and Dolgoff 2024). Especially when they become old enough (several months and onward), they begin paying attention to social subtleties outside of their immediate bodily needs (Francis and Dolgoff 2024).
Remember, you’re their caretaker, a person they see often, so your face is a common view. Your child is beginning to realize that their face can be used to signal feeling, especially happiness.
- Crying & Separation Anxiety
Of course, as I’m sure you’re abundantly aware, crying is what babies do best. Oftentimes you don’t know what in the world they’re crying about, and you worry you may misinterpret. What you shouldn’t worry about is being perfect, since not being able to interpret certain cries is entirely a normal part of parenting. With that being said, it can help to at least try to pick up certain patterns in your baby’s cries, since that is another (albeit less desirable) way your baby bonds with you. Crying is almost like your baby’s way of testing you, as in, crying to ensure that you come and help them in due time. Of course, your baby isn’t thinking that exactly, but that’s what crying is similar to, a way to solidify you in their minds as a reliable source of love and assistance. But don’t worry. You’ll learn through trial and error some crying patterns your baby may show.
In addition, we can’t have a discussion about crying without talking about separation anxiety. Signs of this usually appear when you leave the room. Your baby may immediately start wailing at your exit, but this only means they “feel[] safe and secure when you are around and will cry for your attention when you leave” (Thomas 2023). This behavior will continue into their toddler and preschool years, like being upset when being dropped off for school or daycare or getting lost in a crowd, then becoming calm soon after reuniting with you (Dellner 2022).
Of course, separation anxiety is hard to deal with, but is another sign that your baby has come to know you as a source of comfort. When they are under the age of object permanence (as in, they have not yet come to realize that you exist even when you leave the room), this anxiety can be more pronounced. But even when object permanence is developing, a baby can struggle with the thought of knowing that their caregiver is out of view and not with them (because, let’s be real, babies are selfish!). Though sources differ on what age object permanence begins to set in, this can likely start as early as seven to ten months. But normally, when they come to understand that you always eventually return, that anxiety will lessen as they grow older. Even in the most frustrating moments, try to remember that this anxiety is a sign that your baby loves you in a special way they do not feel for others.
- Held, Comforted, and… Finally Asleep
While babies need to be held right from the start because of how helpless they are, a baby will love to be held by you more than anyone else. They may fidget or whine when held by others outside their immediate caretaker circle. When they become a bit older, around six months, they now have the “physical and cognitive abilities to ask for a pick-me-up” by holding out their arms (Francis and Dolgoff 2024). This is a clear sign that they trust you and need you for comfort. They feel safe, calm, and want you to “hold, cuddle, and comfort” them (Thomas 2022). Much cuter than crying, right?
This also leads into the topic of sleep. Sleep, sweet sleep. You probably aren’t getting enough of it because of your little one’s intense need for comfort. During the day, your baby may relax enough to sleep in your arms now that they have the comfort they so desire (Thomas 2022). At night, they may refuse to relax unless you are there to soothe them. Other than food, it seems there’s nothing a baby wants more than your presence and comfort, and they will let you know when they want it.
- Being Overjoyed at Seeing You
On the flip side of separation anxiety, whenever you’re gone for a few seconds, minutes, or even hours, does your baby wiggle with glee upon seeing you? Do they smile, clap their hands, or reach for you? While a scene like this is cute, it’s also a sign that a deep attachment is successfully forming. It’s important to remember that babies have big emotions because they have yet to develop the ability to refine them (which, truthfully, some adults haven’t even gotten down yet) (Francis and Dolgoff 2024). This overwhelming excitement is one of the clearest signs that your child appreciates you. And while separation becomes easier as they age, they will continue showing their happiness when they see you, such as when you come home from work or pick them up from preschool (Dellner 2022).
That’s all for now, folks. In closing, it’s important to remember that every child and household is unique, so please don’t fret if your child doesn’t exhibit all five of these signs. For instance, some babies sleep through the night while others, well, don’t. And then you find yourself driving around your neighborhood with them in the backseat at 2am. Babies probably seem quite similar, but as with adults, they aren’t all created equal. What’s most important is “to focus on building a strong relationship with your baby and being responsive to their needs, rather than worrying too much about whether or not they have bonded with you” (Thomas 2022). As discussed, the signs listed today include eye contact, mimicry, crying, being held, and being happy upon seeing you.
Stay in tune for Part II of Baby Bonding!
Works Referenced
Dellner, Alexia. “8 Signs Your Child Is Really Connected to You.” PureWow, Gallery Media Group, 8 Mar. 2022, www.purewow.com/family/signs-your-child-is-connected-to-you.
Francis, Meagan, and Stephanie Dolgoff. “13 Signs Your Baby Loves and Trusts You.” Parents, Dotdash Meredith, 14 Mar. 2019, www.parents.com/baby/development/behavioral/signs-your-baby-loves-you/#citation-3. Accessed 18 Mar. 2025.
Thomas, Todd. “How Do I Know If My Baby Has Bonded with Me?” Bonding Basics and Early Attachment, Early Bonding, 18 Apr. 2023, earlybonding.com/how-do-i-know-if-my-baby-has-bonded-with-me/. Accessed 18 Mar. 2025.
About the Author
Krista Ruffo, born and raised in Orlando, Florida, began blogging with South Project in February of 2025. She’s a UCF alum with a BA in English and a Certificate in Editing and Publishing. A passionate writer and reader, Krista aspires to work in book publishing in the future. She currently works as a Content Coordinator for a family magazine. In her free time, she enjoys writing poems, taking photos, and gardening.
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