August 31, 2025
Speaking up about anything is never easy, especially if it’s a sensitive topic. Think about going to the doctor and talking about a health issue, or bringing up a problem to your boss at work. Speaking out about personal matters can be hard because you may fear judgment or backlash for your lifestyle or decisions. Or maybe you fear no reaction, neither positive nor negative, but that the person you’re speaking to simply doesn’t care. Finding a caring ear is important for all of us, but not always easy. Worrying about judgment from even the closest people we have is a feeling we all experience.
As a young mom, speaking up about your experiences could yield a wide variety of responses. Some may respond with positivity, while others may judge. Every woman’s journey into young motherhood is diverse. Perhaps you planned for your child. Perhaps you didn’t. Perhaps your family responded with joy at the news that you were or are pregnant. Perhaps they didn’t. These reactions to your pregnancy and your child’s birth and subsequently becoming a mother will color how those same people react to you speaking up about all of life’s intricate motherhood-related issues. They may sympathize or turn their heads.
Because of the fear of judgment or, in the worst cases, condemnation, many young mothers choose not to speak up about anything, from their pregnancy, birthing, or baby-raising experience. They may decide it’s better to smile and not say a thing. If they decide to speak, they may be met with pity rather than real help, or be treated like they don’t need help, or be told that they’re not supposed to be a mother at that young of an age anyway. And so, a mother chooses silence.
But the truth is, as difficult as it can be, I think you and I both know that staying silent doesn’t lead to anything good. It leads to you carrying the world on your shoulders, even if the world is just one child. Going it alone will increase stress and lead to a motherhood experience that’s even harder than it needs to be. Speaking out could be on any spectrum of risky for you. Maybe it feels not risky at all and you feel mostly supported. Or maybe the idea of speaking up feels like walking on a tightrope.
No matter which one you feel like, I’m going to outline some reasons for you to care about speaking up. Maybe you want to talk about problems with your body. Maybe it’s your child’s behavior. Or lack of sleep, or eating right, or finances, or being a single mom, or any other topic weighing on you. No matter what it is, speaking up has benefits, and I’m going to talk about them here to encourage you.
- Benefits to Your Mental Health
Fortunately, in recent years the mental health of mothers and women in general is being taken more seriously. This includes the increasing popularity of therapy and stress management, as well as awareness of depression, anxiety, and mental struggle in general. But it also includes mother-specific problems, such as the mental stress of being pregnant and giving birth, and postnatal mental experiences like PPD (post-partum depression). Thankfully we as a society are beginning to understand that motherhood is not always peaches and rainbows and can come with its fair share of trauma. That’s the silver lining. The difficult part is that the pressure for women to be picture-perfect moms is still present. It’s an odd mix, to be sure.
But one concept is for certain: speaking, literally, helps you feel better. Even if you aren’t speaking to a mental health professional, even just having an honest conversation with someone who genuinely cares is good enough. I encourage you to make talking a habit. I understand not everyone is a talker, including me. I’m a tried and true introvert. But even for me, my personal experience speaking to a psychologist about other concerns and issues (not motherhood-related) helped that elephant of stress get off my chest. There’s just something about the physical act of speaking your thoughts that helps those thoughts become far less intimidating.
Try it. Make it a date to speak with someone, say, once a week for an hour. Give yourself parameters so you have solid goals. Pick a person you know who cares and decide where to meet them. Treat those interactions like therapy and have that time period be your unload time. It won’t necessarily be a time of giving that person secondhand anger, but just simply discussing what’s going on. It’s best to choose a person you can be very honest with, someone who won’t cut you down. Or, of course, if you’d like, you can go to an actual therapist.
- Awareness of Mental Health in General & Getting Funding for Programs
Either way, the act of talking not only relieves your own conscience but lets your community know what you need. In the case of my last post, which discussed South Project’s It Takes a Village Survey, speaking up about what you need can help increase the awareness of donors funding specific programs and events that are tailored to meet your needs. If you don’t say something, the donors will never know. When it comes to psychological health, talking about what you’re feeling and thinking will encourage more studies to be done in the field of psychology as a whole, but more specifically into the mental health of mothers.
- People Will Be More Likely to Help
The simple truth is if you don’t speak up about what you need, then people around you won’t know what you need, or that you need anything at all. If you stay quiet, then it’s much less likely that people, whether that be friends or family, will reach out and offer any sort of help to lighten the load of motherhood. The more you speak, the more people will know what you need, and are therefore more likely to give their time or resources to assist you. They can’t help if they don’t know what to help you with.
- Improving Physical Health
Just like with mental health, there are physical advantages to talking about how you feel. This point is likely more relevant for women who are currently pregnant or just gave birth, as that time is most likely to yield questions about your body. Being quiet about bodily issues (however “gross” you think they may be) usually isn’t the best choice. As expensive and uncomfortable as going to the doctor may be, putting your physical and mental health as a priority will help you become a healthier mother and, therefore, better able to be present for your motherhood responsibilities. So even if you’re struggling with a bodily issue you feel is embarrassing, talking it out with a health professional will get you closer to relief.
- Let Others Know You Are Strong
Finally, if you become the type of person who is unafraid to speak about what she’s feeling, thinking, and experiencing, you become the person people know not to step on, a person who is meant to be taken seriously, a mother whose words have weight and meaning.
Thanks for sticking around to learn more about how speaking up can improve your life. I hope this inspires you to talk about your life experiences, especially if you’ve been struggling with being too silent. As a reminder, if you haven’t already, check out South Project’s It Takes a Village Survey so we can learn more about where you are in life and how we can help you as a young mother.
About the Author
Krista Ruffo, born, raised, and still living in Orlando, Florida, began blogging with South Project in February of 2025. She’s a UCF alum with a BA in English and a Certificate in Editing and Publishing. A passionate writer and reader, Krista aspires to work in book publishing in the future. She currently works as a Content Coordinator for a family magazine. In her free time, she enjoys writing poems, taking photos, making art, hiking, and gardening.